At the end of my scripture study class on Thursday, a sweet sister gingerly asked how she could help her husband take a more active role in family scripture study. I could feel her despair and frustration. I wish I had a perfect pat answer to give her so she could go home and make this part of her parenting better. I didn't have an answer for her and I began pondering how to help other sisters with this same question. I think it's something we, in the Mormon culture, need to address.
We are blessed in this day and age to have strong confident women with unwavering testimonies who want to help their children grow in the gospel. We also have loving men, who want their wives to be happy. However, these two things sometimes allow the woman to take over and the man (who isn't stupid) to allow her to do what she is good at. But this arrangement doesn't really work for long. Soon, you will find yourself needing more and feeling overwhelmed and disappointed.
We, as women, need to support our husbands and trust that they will lead instead of nagging and bossing them to do it.
We must join with our husbands to form a team to work towards a common goal as one, instead of doing it alone and feeling resentment for what he is not doing it.
We must celebrate the small victories and comment on the things he is doing well, instead of always pointing out what he doesn't do.
We must let him lead in his own unique way. He isn't "wrong" and we aren't "right."
We must be prayerful and patient instead of hopeless and stubborn.
I still don't have a perfect pat answer, but beginning an open truthful dialogue about our worries and concerns is the first step in finding that answer. I believe our guys love us and want to be the leaders we need. We must remember that they may feel unqualified and overwhelmed and not know where to turn for guidance. Let's join with them on a journey together to find the best "us" we can be.
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