Are Your Kids Paying Attention?

Have you ever considered the phrase "Paying Attention?"

Interesting that the way this phrase is used equates attention to money. Can you pay attention like you pay money? In one way it is very similar: they are both finite resources. You only have a specific amount of "attention" and you need to choose where to spend it. 

Consider the countless things that surround you at any one time. Close your eyes and listen to the layers of sound, the different scents, and even the textures of things touching your skin. Now open your eyes and see the colors, shapes and movement all around you. It's no wonder the brain shuts out this avalanche of information and focuses on what seems to be most important at the time. 

So, how do you help your kids choose to "pay" their limited attention on scripture study? Here's some tips:

1) Kids learn in different ways. Experiment with different study tools and see what clicks. Try taking notes (or drawing pictures), try letting them just listen (maybe following along, maybe not), try letting them read silently and look for answers, maybe your child needs movement, let her stand or walk as she reads.

2) Ask good questions. We all know that when we have a focused job to do, it forces you to pay attention. Give the kids something to search for in the scriptures while you are reading. (See my book "Small and Simple Keys of Protection" for great questions already designed for your Book of Mormon study.)

3) Take it in small chunks. Don't worry about finishing a chapter. Study a few verses and discuss what you learned. 

4) Offer rewards. Have skittles or goldfish handy for rewards of reading or answering questions, etc.

5) Add in some unexpected sounds, words, or movements and see who notices. Maybe use the above rewards for those who are "paying attention."

6) Add some meditation to your prayer time. You probably already begin scripture study with prayer. Now, just add some time to teach your kids a calming breathing exercise: Close your eyes and take a deep breath to the count of 4. Then exhale to the count of 6. Repeat. Each time pause a moment before inhaling or exhaling. This will help calm the energy and help everyone focus.

The great news is that like everything else, paying attention gets better with practice. Don't worry about doing things perfect and don't worry about the bad days. Just keep moving forward and realize that you are helping to teach your child a lifelong skill: How to "Pay Attention."

Let's Talk About Our Guys

At the end of my scripture study class on Thursday, a sweet sister gingerly asked how she could help her husband take a more active role in family scripture study. I could feel her despair and frustration. I wish I had a perfect pat answer to give her so she could go home and make this part of her parenting better. I didn't have an answer for her and I began pondering how to help other sisters with this same question. I think it's something we, in the Mormon culture, need to address.

We are blessed in this day and age to have strong confident women with unwavering testimonies who want to help their children grow in the gospel. We also have loving men, who want their wives to be happy. However, these two things sometimes allow the woman to take over and the man (who isn't stupid) to allow her to do what she is good at. But this arrangement doesn't really work for long. Soon, you will find yourself needing more and feeling overwhelmed and disappointed. 

We, as women, need to support our husbands and trust that they will lead instead of nagging and bossing them to do it.

We must join with our husbands to form a team to work towards a common goal as one, instead of doing it alone and feeling resentment for what he is not doing it.

We must celebrate the small victories and comment on the things he is doing well, instead of always pointing out what he doesn't do.

We must let him lead in his own unique way. He isn't "wrong" and we aren't "right."

We must be prayerful and patient instead of hopeless and stubborn.


I still don't have a perfect pat answer, but beginning an open truthful dialogue about our worries and concerns is the first step in finding that answer. I believe our guys love us and want to be the leaders we need. We must remember that they may feel unqualified and overwhelmed and not know where to turn for guidance. Let's join with them on a journey together to find the best "us" we can be.

Delights of Digital

I have always been a fan of books. I love to hold a book, to turn the pages, to smell the musky papers. A few years ago, my sweet husband bought me a kindle, thinking that my love of books would mean a kindle would be the perfect gift. I have used it a bit, but it seems my preference of a "real" book wins out. So this preference carries over to scriptures, too. I have the scriptures on my phone, but I still carry the big bulky book to church every week, I hunt it down for family scripture study. 

But, recently I began to use and explore the digital version of the scriptures along with the notebook on LDS.org. There are some definite advantages of digital. Here's some reasons to consider using digital scripture study.

1) It sure makes cross referencing easier. Instead of having to turn countless pages to look up just one cross reference, you just click on the word (colored blue) and the footnote scriptures appear. Then all you do is click on each scripture and it takes you directly to that scripture. Easy, breezy.

2) No need for colored pencils. You can highlight in all different colors by just clicking on the color of your choice. Consider using different colors for different topics.

3) You can have your scriptures with you always. Admit it, you never leave your home without your phone. Voila, you never leave your home without your scriptures!

4) You can record your thoughts and inspiration without worry of limited space. Instead of trying to squeeze your notes in the margins, you can click on the "pencil" on the bottom of the page to leave unlimited notes. You can even title the entries and add them to your digital notebook on LDS.org.

5) Speaking of your notebook: Use your LDS account online, sign in and check out your notebook. You can save notes, "file" your favorite talks or scriptures under your own headings, bookmark important items, and have a digital journal. Any device you sign in on can open this notebook. Great way to have all your notes at your fingertips.


6) You can share your inspirations with a click.  Once you have a scripture highlighted, you click on the three squares in the right hand corner and choices will pop up. You can then click on share annotation and share via social media or email. What a cool way to share your thoughts with your teens!

7) Speaking of teens: Knowing how to use your digital scriptures and encouraging your older children to use their devices is a great way to encourage scripture study in your teens. 

So, go sign on to lds.org and see what you can discover! You might just begin to enjoy the digital age of scripture study.

Why?

We all know that studying the scriptures is a commandment. But doing it is not always easy. Check out some of the blessings promised to you for keeping this commandment: 

"The way to develop greater spirituality . . . ." Ezra Taft Benson

". . . greater wisdom with which to guide ourselves and our families . . . ." Spencer W Kimball

“There’s an increase in faith and a desire to do what’s right and a feeling of inspiration and understanding . . . ." Bruce R McConkie

"The spirit of reverence will increase; mutual respect and consideration for each other will grow. The spirit of contention will depart. Parents will counsel their children in greater love and wisdom. Children will be more responsive and submissive to the counsel of their parents." Marion G. Romney

". . .  you will not be deceived in these perilous times, but you shall have the spirit of discernment and you shall know the truth and shall know falsehood, for you shall have power to know the spirits of men and to understand the Spirit of the Lord.” Joseph Fielding Smith

“... an added measure of the Spirit of the Lord, a strengthened resolution to walk in obedience to His commandments, and a stronger testimony of the living reality of the Son of God." Gordon B Hinckley


"Children taught an understanding of the scriptures early in life will come to know the path they should walk and will be more inclined to remain on that path. Those who stray will have the ability to return and, with help,can find their way back." Boyd K Packer

"...have faith rather than fear, to find hope and overcome despair, to leave darkness and turn toward the light of the everlasting gospel." Boyd K Packer

There will be peace in our homes, love and kindness will grow, children will listen to their parents, and parents will counsel with their children in patience. Daniel L Johnson

Just like kids, we all like to know why we should do what we are told. The blessings we are promised can help to give the extra boast needed to move forward. 

Which blessings are inspiration for you?

Exercising Your Faith Muscles

When we exercise, we expect our muscles to grow stronger. Of course, before they become stronger they will be sore and tired. At some point we must decide if the work and pain are worth the outcome of the stronger muscles.


Elder Richard G Scott talked of exercising faith in the October 2014 General Conference. He tells us that to find peace in this life filled with negative challenges and heartaches, we must exercise our faith. He talked of four tools we can use to find peace in the struggles of mortality. 

1) Prayer: "Family prayer should be a nonnegotiable priority in your daily life."


2) Scripture Study: He reminds us that studying the scriptures is more important than so many other things that we choose to spend our time on. Elder Scott describes many blessings promised to us and our children if we study the scriptures. He tells us that through the scriptures we can begin to understand and recognize the voice of God. Elder Scott promises us that peace will prevail in our homes. "That peace won't come from the outside world. It will come from within your home, from within your family, from within your own heart." 

3) Family Home Evening: "The structure of the evening is not as important as the time invested."

Elder Scott quoted Sister Reeves from April's conference. "I must testify of the blessings of daily scripture study and prayer and weekly family home evening. These are the very practices that help take away stress, give direction to our lives and add protection to our homes."

4) Temple Attendance: "We all know there is no more peaceful place on this earth than in the temples of God."


So, we must decide, if these four simple actions are worth the time and effort they take. Are the spiritual muscles we will develop worth the pain and work? 

Let's look at the blessings Elder Scott promises. 
1) Satan's ability to harm us will diminish. "The more we develop these habits, the more anxious is Satan to harm us, but the less is his ability to do so." 

2) We accept the full gifts of His atoning sacrifice, which will help us to endure the challenges of this life. 

After hearing Elder Scott's talk I realized how little our Heavenly Father is really asking of us. If I am willing to do four simple things, I am promised strength and wisdom through the power of the Atonement. 

I'm ready to grow my faith muscles. How about you? See you in the Book of Mormon Gym tomorrow morning!

Hastening the Work Means . . .

Our stake was blessed to hear from Elder Daniel L Johnson of the First Quorum of the Seventy this weekend. He told us that we have to remember that we are ALWAYS teaching something. We need to think about: What am I teaching?

He said that the very act of not teaching something will teach our children the value we place on that thing. He went on to tell us how important it is to study the Book of Mormon with our children. It was all I could do not to stand up and shout, "AMEN!"

He promised us that by reading the Book of Mormon miracles can happen. He promised us: there will be peace in our homes, love and kindness will grow, children will listen to their parents, and parents will counsel with their children in patience. Who wouldn't want these blessings in their home? 

He went on to tell us that it is too easy to find excuses to crowd scripture study out of our lives. But he told us: It is NOT tough. We just have to decide to make it a priority and do it. It's not hard to get up a little earlier or go to bed a little later. It is not tough.

He also warned us of the challenges of the rising generation. He told us how these children will face challenges and be tempted and bombarded by the adversary like never before. He said: Children need every ounce of strength and testimony they can get. We cannot leave them to flounder alone. We must give them the tools they need.

Elder Johnson ended his talk by telling us that "Hastening the Work" means doing things in a different way. 

Do you need to find a different way to study the Book of Mormon with your family? Check out my book. It will allow you to actually study the Book of Mormon with your family in a way that will draw the children in. And the best part of my book is that it is ready to use with no preparation (no excuse for not doing it). 

Click here to buy the book on Amazon

**Be aware, the above advice from Elder Johnson is paraphrased, not quoted.

Tell a Story

First the fun news: My poem has been published in this month's Friend magazine.

The poem was inspired by a truth I have learned about helping children grow to love the Book of Mormon: Stories. We all love a good story. Most people will read stacks of novels before a book of instruction or history. Stories grip us and pull us in. We all know that children especially love stories.

The authors of the Book of Mormon could have just told us the commandments and lessons we need to make it back to our Heavenly Father, but they didn't. Each book includes stories and experiences that actual people went through. These are the parts of the scriptures that can pull our kids into scriptures, they can spark the love that turns a chore into a joy.

Here are thoughts from "The Psychological Power of Storytelling"

• Stories are how we explain how things work, how we make decisions, how we justify our decisions, how we persuade others, how we understand our place in the world, create our identities, and define and teach social values.

You can use the story of Captain Moroni to teach when and how war is sanctioned. He shows us the blessings of honoring your country and your family.

• Stories are the common ground that allows people to communicate, overcoming our defenses and our differences. Stories allow us to understand ourselves better and to find our commonality with others.

The story of Nephi and his brothers can help your children understand how siblings can either love and support each other (Sam, Jacob and Joseph) or turn on each other with jealousy and hate (Laman and Lemuel). 

• Within the context of the story arc we can withstand intense emotions because we know that resolution follows the conflict. We can experience with a safety net.

The ultimate "happy ending" is the scriptures. The blessings and promises that the Lord gives as all are echoed throughout the Book of Mormon. Children can see how we loved by our Heavenly Father and begin to see how we can ultimately live with him again.

• To the human brain, imagined experiences are processed the same as real experiences. Stories create genuine emotions, presence (the sense of being somewhere), and behavioral responses.

Can you imagine the bond your child will feel with the Book of Mormon as they begin to experience the joys of Alma as he baptizes and leads a new fold into the church? Or the sorrow of Jacob who begins to see his people turn to loving riches more than Christ?

• Through imagination, we tap into creativity that is the foundation of innovation, self-discovery and change.

The biggest blessing of the Book of Mormon is to discover ourselves. Through the stories, we can help our children see that we are all different and that each person's journey through life will be different. They can begin to imagine a life that will bring them happiness and joy.

Help your children understand and discuss the stories in the Book of Mormon with my book, Small and Simple Keys of Protection. Check it out on Amazon today. What a great gift you can give your family this Christmas.

Also, check out the page on this blog for FHE ideas. Do a book report on the Book of Mormon with your family.